What would think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Angeline Taylor is a dear and true friend of mine, even though she knows I am not much of a singer.
It’s been this way since June 11, 2007 when both of us were forced to endure a monotonous orientation for our new jobs at the Tallahassee Democrat.
It all started because I started writing jokes on a sheet of paper to relieve the monotony and got a high from her laughter at my highbrow humor.
Sunday, Angie sent me an e-mail telling me a 20-year old woman allegedly killed her good friend, Shannon Washington, for no apparent reason. Considering both of us are proud Florida A&M graduates with ties to the Sarasota-Bradenton area we stewed at the prospect of a friend allegedly putting a knife through her friend’s neck.
Only later did I find out the deceased lived in same apartment complex I lived in during my last three years of school.
When sharing the story with other Rattlers, they collectively expressed similar bemusement. The sentiment was to state their intention to pray for Washington’s family then ask “who would do something like that?”
It is far too early to speculate on why Washington was killed. However, the incident should encourage us to think about who are our closest and truest friends. And only the person staring at you in the mirror can define friendship.
I have gone clubbing with friends. I have confided in friends. I have gone to church with friends. I have consoled friends. I have committed crimes with friends — if you consider underage drinking and changing the prices at a gas station lawbreaking. I have fornicated with a couple female friends. I have played sports with friends.
No true friend has every led me to get mad enough to wish them ill will, or think to execute the harm myself. As my girlfriend continues to remind me, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.
In our haste we elevate people to positions in our lives they do not deserve. Other times a person is in our life for a reason or a season. We have to figure out where everyone fits in our fragile emotional existence. Otherwise, some serpent of a person might come up and strike when you need them the most, or least expect it.
Periodically I come up with a purge list; a collection of people whose reason and/or season has passed and its time to detangle my relationship with them — even if it hurts. The first time Angie heard of this list she expressed a bit of amazement at someone in their early 20s eliminating people that by my own definition “don’t teach me anything.”
I learned a lot about people this summer when I didn’t have a job. Many people were incredibly supportive, yet there were some who ignored, or were too busy, to pay attention to calls and messages from 941-961-0044.
A college acquaintance recently stated on her Facebook page “I’ve learned in life that it is a small world…and that positive relationships, whether personal or professional, will take you far.” A sentiment that was rich because more than one person has told me how much this acquaintance uses people. (I didn’t find out the hard way, until after I could no longer write business features about her organization.)
Is this person an awful person for not being collegial after leaving Tallahassee? Not at all, but she is an illustration that not everyone is good for you — even if they are good people.
The book I believe in speaks of the true vine, one in which “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
Rotted relationships will shrivel and burn when the furnace of life fans flames of failure, bereavement, illness, joblessness and other fiery moments. Friends might not douse the flames, but the best ones bear the burns of someone who is willing to endure an inferno to rescue you.
I get by with a little help from my friends, Yes I get by with a little help from my friends, With a little help from my friends.
Laughs and liveliness,
-Wb
