Wednesday, February 20, 2013

How do you overcome a blank page?



The blank screen dared me to type something profound. The blinking cursor was a motionless reminder that prose cannot come on command. All I had to do was write three or four sentences about myself.

It should have been simple. However, anyone who knows me understands I am far from simple.

That night the screen remained empty for nearly 10 minutes before I gave up. Instead of writing about myself, I am writing about why I am a writer. Why anyone else should care about this internal conflict is beyond my comprehension.

I didn't like writing until my junior year of high school when I wrote an essay for a cousin of mine. I flouted that he was going to get an "A" on the assignment, because I felt like it. It was a brash pronouncement that was met with skepticism the second I said it. To be truthful, I wondered why I spouted off in the first place.

For one my bravado was confirmed. That was around the time I was introduced to F. Scott Fitzgerald. The ego affirmation and his timeless storytelling were enough for me.

One can be intoxicated by the knowledge that words can make people think. The best writing is more vivid than your last spanking for cursing in front of your parents. All five senses can be aroused when someone strings together words properly.

Most people use aroused in a sexual sense. I use aroused, erect, upright and others in my writing with a wink and a grin, hopeful that others understand a double entendre is like an adulterous penis. (There are two options, but one is more wholesome than the other.) 

I would scan the dictionary just to learn new words and throw them at people to catch them off guard. If you say masticate fast enough people might mess around and thinking you're talking about something other than chewing.

One of the first things I did after arriving at college was buy a dictionary. More than 10 years later, the paperback dictionary is at my office, dog-eared, with a broken spine and on the verge of the page with the word sardonic missing.
Not too many people keep a thesaurus at their desk, two dictionary apps on their phone and three different notebooks filled with ideas at their home office.

I'm not comfortable as a salesman. I can work in a team setting, but I don't like being told what to do. The politics of a career in big business are enough to frustrate me. A college professor suggested I go to law school and become an attorney. I smiled and told him that I'm not a good liar, so it's best that I not go. Of course I could create my own company, but that requires selling something. And, clearly, "I'm not comfortable as a salesman."

So that leaves journalism as my best option. Maybe, one day I will teach, in a classroom and not through the media. But, that requires more patience than I currently possess.

Most people would wait until the inspiration strikes. I'm not one of those people. For me, the right words bubble up like a Florida spring. They are something that can be enjoyed by everyone unless their natural beauty is molested by those looking to shape it into something unnatural.

To me, life without lyrics is a boring one. When there is not a book by my bed or a song in my head, the days drag on like a polysyllabic word crossing the precipice of a page. We do not know when it will end, whether it will pick up again, or simply continue on the listless trend.

And that is why I am a writer.

Laughs and liveliness,

-Wb